Making a List, Checking It Twice, GOING TO FIND OUT

I’m presently sat in my living room, having been distracted from filling in a Housing Benefit form – joy to the world – by my housemate and boyfriend’s lovely singing of Christmas songs.

We’ve just been doing a delightful three part harmony version of Away in a Manger – whose lyrics are rather sweet and gentle as you’d imagine – and then moved on to the actually rather sinister Santa Clause is Coming To Town…As per the quote on the title line, it may as well be written about a serial killer selecting their victims.

Here are the lyrics:

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
He’s making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who’s naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town

Here is my re-envisioning as an informational poster to warn parents about this sinister visitor:

WATCH OUT
DO NOT CRY
DO NOT POUT
THIS IS WHY:
He Is Coming

He has a list
Accurately researched
He knows
He Is Coming
He sees you
He knows
He knows
For goodness sake
WATCH OUT

WATCH OUT
DO NOT CRY
DO NOT POUT
THIS IS WHY:
He Is Coming
HE IS COMING

That’s my Christmas card sorted.

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